Monday #1-100
Mondays
July 25, 2016. Exactly 100 Mondays from today, September 1,
2014. About one year and 10 months in
the future from this moment. At that
point my goal is to be 100 pounds lighter than I am today. Healthy, active, happy, and 100 pounds
less. How much do I weigh now? At approximately 8:37 p.m. on Monday,
September 1, 2014 I am 329.4 pounds. It
is not the heaviest I have ever been in my life, but it is much heavier than I
should ever be. How do you get
here? How does someone who was 220
pounds and athletic when he graduated high school become someone who is closer
to 350 pounds than 300 pounds? Let’s
rewind for a little bit to figure it out.
My dream was to go to Duke.
Ever since I was in middle school and watched Grant Hill play basketball,
I knew I wanted to be like him and go to Duke University. I was also spurred on by the fact that
everywhere I looked in my school and my city of Greensboro, N.C. all the other
kids and adults were wearing these horribly ugly light blue “Carolina” hats and
shirts. I did not like the concept of going
with the crowd on this choice and there was a sense of freedom in rooting for a
school that excelled academically and athletically that was led by a classy brother. It became my singular focus to do two things:
1) Get into Duke University.
2) Get a scholarship to Duke University so my mother would
not have to pay for it.
My parents were
divorced and in our house in North Carolina was just my mother, my younger
sister and I. My father was still very
much in my life, but I did not want to be a financial burden on my mother
throughout college. I was blessed enough
to have the chance to learn Karate from a young age into my teenage years,
participate in Debate competitions throughout high school, and play on my
Varsity high school basketball team all four years of high school. I was blessed, focused, and I truly believed
that I could achieve my dream. And then
it happened….
I was invited to attend a “scholarship weekend” in which
different successful students who had applied to Duke from around North
Carolina were invited to come to the University for a weekend of interviews
(and fun). It was a wonderful weekend; I
don’t remember anything about my interviews.
I only remember two things distinctly:
1) We got to meet Coach K, which at first was amazing. All of us were shocked that he was actually
in front of us in the flesh and we were so quiet waiting to hear his words of
wisdom. Wellllll, I only remember a few
words. Most of them had four letters; I
think he might have even thrown in a word with twelve letters in total for good
measure. The gist of his speech was to
not be too disappointed if you do not get into the University. “Don’t cut your f*cking wrist.”, was what
really hit home for me. That moment was
a beautiful moment. There is no look as
profound as the look of horror in the eyes of adults around you who can not do
one solitary thing to stop someone acting a true fool who has the most power in
the room. He was Coach K and they were “administrators”. So at such a young tender age we were allowed
to hear what it probably sounds like to be “coached” by perhaps the greatest
coach of all time, because everyone was terrified to tell this man to shut up.
2) I blew off the last day’s events, which included parents
coming to the auditorium to mingle with the administrators and gush over their
successful children, so I could sneak into a Duke Men’s basketball game. Here was the plan: I met another guy up for a scholarship who I
became cool with that weekend and we would take the campus ID’s of the students
who hosted us. My friend happened to be
white and have a white host and I was black and happened to have a black host.
(I see what you did there Duke.)
We would get in line to get into the game and
simply BE COOL and present “our ID’s”. I
was going first and my comrade was behind me.
The guy checking ID’s was a young looking white kid, who politely took
my ID and looked at it—then handed it right back to me and let me go towards
the door. SUCCESS! Now it was my friend’s turn. The ID checker took his ID, looked at it,
looked at my pal, formed a scowl on his face and sternly said, “YOU'RE NOT JOHN!” As cool as the other side of the pillow I
said, “Hey why aren’t you letting John through?” The ID checker looked at me and said, “He’s
not John, I KNOW JOHN!!” I was faced
with a dilemma, the ID gestapo obviously knew my partner “WAS NOT JOHN!!”, but
for some reason (I’m black) did not put together (I’m black) that I too was not
the person on the ID (maybe because I’m black)?
Should I get out of line and not go to the game in solidarity with “NOT
JOHN!” or should I be a bastard and go inside and fulfill a lifelong dream as
only a high schooler? What I did next
the kids today would call a “Kanye shrug”, but at this point Kanye West was
still on Mars so I thought in my head “oh well, bye NOT JOHN” and I walked
inside. I got to watch Shane Battier,
Elton Brand, Will Avery and Chris Carrawell and other Duke stars massacre some
team I don’t even remember. It was worth
being a dick and ditching “NOT JOHN” and getting yelled at by my mother later
that night by not showing up for “an important event that may have cost me a
scholarship”.
John
NOT JOHN!!!
John
As a result of that weekend I was an “alternate” for a B.N. Duke
Scholarship. That meant that if someone
decided not to come to Duke who was eligible for the scholarship I would get
it. I received some other good news a
few weeks later—I was accepted to Harvard University and they wanted to give me
a scholarship. I have to say this up
front, I did not ever have any intention to attend Harvard. I was a momma’s boy and I could not imagine
being that far from my mother, my sister and North Carolina. But, Duke did not know that. So I politely let Duke know I was accepted to
Harvard—with money—and they politely let me know, “Well will you look at that,
we must have forgotten to carry the 1, because you actually are accepted as a
B.N. Duke Scholar!” And that was it; I
achieved my dream of attending Duke University with a scholarship.
Now what I just laid out was a fairy tale that happened to
be totally true and my real life. The
problem with fairy tales is they never talk about what happens after. Sometimes the worst thing that can happen to
you is not failing, but instead succeeding too quickly. I had worked hard to get into Duke, but after
I got in I did not take the necessary steps to find another star to shoot
for. I became lazy, I discovered “food
points” (which I am convinced are of the devil), I discovered the gym—which I
utilized mostly Freshman and Sophomore year and then rarely if ever my last two
years. I set up a pattern of not
challenging myself, taking the easy way out of things, and not being diligent
about healthy routines.
It is a long jump from that point to here, but I will fill
in the blanks through the rest of my blogs.
I realize that what goes on between my ears explains what goes into my
mouth and why I take the actions I do. I
have a lot to live for and be proud of.
A beautiful and successful wife, two amazing children, and a great
family all around. I have lots of
support and luckily I am healthy enough to do this of my own volition and not
because I am forced to physically.
Achieving this goal will benefit my life in every way I can think of,
and this is solely for me. I want this
as bad as I have wanted anything else.
This is my next star…..see you next Monday.
Congrats on taking this step. I'll be rooting for you!
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